Throbbing Heads

I think I might be allergic to my office you know. Everyday I gaily skip to work, swinging my umbrella and singing along to the birds which line the fences en route. As you do. But no sooner than I set foot in the building where I work than my nose fills up with mucus, my head starts to throb and I get a tickly cough.

So, am I allergic to the building, the work I do, or the people I'm surrounded with every day? Many of the latter wear far too many man-made fibres, so this could be the answer. Also, I do often have a funny reaction when I see someone wearing a floral-print blouse with a striped skirt, as happened yesterday. It's like a deep shudder, to the core of my very gayness. Yes, see, it's making you shudder too, isn't it?

Anyway, I shall have to perform some tests, and as with anything scientific I shall have to do it within a controlled environment, tackling each possible hazardous substance individually. I have already decided to find the cute guy and have him rub himself against me to see what the reaction could be, although I have a fair idea of how I will react already. I'll likely take an eye out. I guess the rest of the test will have to involve me running about naked in the office, rubbing myself up against the walls, windows and floors. Nothing I haven't done before if truth be told.

Oh, speaking of the Cute Guy (I think it's time we gave him those lovely capital letters that denotes a regular cast member); I only ever seem to see him in the reception area of our building. I think he must just walk in and out all day, making the place look attractive to us gays. That was up until yesterday afternoon, anyway. Oh yes! We had our AGM, the "A" of which apparently stands for "Arduous". Anyway, who should sit not 3 seats away from me? You don't need those 3 guesses do you? Yes, only 3 seats away. That's nearly throwing distance for us gays. In mean, in a hall of 500-odd people - sorry, that should be 500-odd odd people and he and I - he chose to sit near me, apparently nowhere near anyone else he works with. Although, if his sole employment is to wander around reception maybe he has no colleagues. Ah, it all clicks into place. He's been employed to make the place look better, and to specifically help with my morale (but apparently not my morals).

This place suddenly isn't so bad after all. In fact, I think my headache's gone.