Niqabs For Everyone!

I feel like I should jump on the "Muslim women shouldn't be allowed to wear veils" bandwagon. As usual I'm jumping on a bandwagon after it's already set off on its journey, and I'm likely to break the odd fingernail while I scramble aboard. I might graze a knee as well, which will give me a nice little scab to pick at later.

Anyway, I'd like to approach the argument from another direction. In fact, the opposite direction entirely. I think non-Muslim women should start wearing veils and full headscarves too. Why should non-Muslims be discriminated against by not being allowed to wear them? In this way we can bring some colour to them too. I know black's very slimming, and goes well with most colours (still not feeling black with brown no matter what anyone tells me, sorry), but it's a bit dull, especially in summer, and non-Muslims should be allowed to co-ordinate with their outfit. So, we should have veils in nice muted colours, nothing too bright cause they'll just look cheap. Maybe add a few sequins, or some nice slogans. You know, like "Motorhead" or something. And then designer labels can get in on the act, and sportswear brands too. We could have nice Nike veils with the big tick across where the mouth should be. Or Adidas veils with the stripes up the sides.

And why stop at women? Let men wear them too. The gays can start this one off. You just know they'll be tight-fitting and, as seems to be the current vogue, have some slogan emblazoned in rhinestones across the front. Maybe a risqué little rip to expose a bit of nose, or backless headscarves like a pair of chaps for the head. And the bear scene can have ones in plaid with stick-on beards on the front, and then the fetish scene can get into it... oh, they already have gimp masks, sorry.

Then, as in everything, the straight men can get in on the act, probably with a Burberry pattern, or perhaps they'll invent a kind of hoodie with a front panel, or something to hang off the brim of a baseball cap.

And of course the Muslim women will start wearing the coloured ones, perhaps starting with something conservative like a Laura Ashley floral print and working their way up. And then it'll become a fashion thing and at some point will go out of favour, as these things have want to do, and Muslim and non-Muslims alike will put their veils in the back of their wardrobes and forget all about them, in a flares kinda way. And the Muslims will forget why they wore them in the first place, i.e. because the males are insecure and feel the need to suppress women, and we'll all live happily ever after.