Parents, honestly!

Today I'm going to have a little rant about parents. I'm qualified to talk about parenting because my ex-boyf was the biggest, surliest kid imaginable. Mentally, I mean. Obviously I don't go out with children, unless they happen to be inhabiting the body of a 38 year old mechanic. At least he's fully prepared me should I ever need to adopt a teenage girl.

So yeah, parents these days are crap. At least, the ones near my abode are. The Boyf, as you may recall, should you be paying the proper attention, is a teacher. Last week he had to have two mothers physically removed from the school for fighting. He also had to physically restrain one of the fathers because he was trying to punch another mother in the face because she forgot to meet his wife in BHS for lunch!!! It's not the children that are the problem you see, it's the parents. Ok, so one of the kids bought in an aerosol and a lighter and used them like a blowtorch to set another kid alight. Weren't you up to such high japes when you were 8 years old?

On breakfast tv this morning, the last bastion of high-brow informative programming (rolls eyes), we were treated to a parent complaining that his son was banned from eating his packed lunch. The 8 year old's lunch comprised a sandwich, a bag of crisps, an iced cake, a yoghurt and a bottle of water. I'm guessing the water was a concession to make it all look healthy should Jamie Oliver pop up from behind a static display of Meg & Mog. Anyway, the lunch broke school rules because it included three snacks when rules stipulated only two were allowed. So what had the Dad done? Yes, gone on national tv to complain. With the kid. Who should be in school, no? Half-term's next week. The Dad was fully aware of school rules but stated that if the yoghurt was poured over the cake it only counted as one snack. Ew! Still, judging by the look of him it was only to be expected.

When parents take their kids to a school they're made fully aware of the school rules. If they have an issue they should speak to the Head, not go on national tv with their petty grievances. I, for one, don't really give a shit if someone's kid isn't allowed a yoghurt AND a cake. I've got better things to worry about over my breakfast, like how I can gets lips like Angelina Jolie, and whether Katie Holmes gets to sleep with whatever man she wants to in her arrangement with Tom Cruise. Or perhaps she prefers women, which is why she's been hanging around with Victoria Beckham wearing similar outfits. Cause lesbians do that don't they? Dress the same I mean, not hang around with Posh.

So, if any whiney parents should be reading this, please stop moaning and let your kid get on with it's education. It'll thank you in the long-run. Unless you're from Bermondsey, in which case at least it'll be able to write you beautifully punctuated letters from prison.