OMO At The Movies: "28 Weeks Later"

I actually went to see this a few weeks ago, but completely forgot to tell you about it and spoil the plot for you. I say "plot" like it has one worth spoiling. I mean, in a nutshell, lots of people get eaten. The end.

So, what happens? Well, it goes a little something like this. Er, this contains the entire plot, so if you don't want it utterly ruined I'd stop reading.

Dad and Mum hide in house. The infected get in. Dad runs away and leaves Mum to get eaten. Charming. Some week later - 28 in fact - all of the infected have died of starvation so the Americans turn up to start the clean-up and re-population. With lots of guns, as per usual. They create a safe zone, and we are treated to aerial shots of Canary Wharf, which looks like the start of The Apprentice. We spot our home in one of the shots and point at the screen so that the whole audience know where we live.

(This is where I really start to spoil things)

The Dad's two Children are allowed back into the country to be re-united with him (they were away when the outbreak occurred). Dad tells Children that Mum was dead before he ran away. He lies. Children want keep-sake to remember Mum by so venture out of heavily guarded safe zone perimeter (have you noticed that guards NEVER pay enough attention in films) and go to their old home. Mum's there, clearly not as dead as everyone thought. Americans turn up and drag everyone back to base.

Mum turns out to be a carrier of the virus. Dad goes to see her to say sorry for leaving her to get eaten, like you do. She kisses him, he gets the virus and goes on a biting spree. Civilians are herded into a basement (apparently there are 15,000 people in the safe zone, although it looks like only a couple of hundred at most), where Dad breaks in and starts to chow down. The lights conveniently go into "strobe mode" - apparently this basement is normally used as a nightclub - so you don't get to see much of the action. Epileptics in the audience start to froth at the mouth. Civilians break free and flee, chased by a growing number of the infected. Americans decide to just kill everyone and be done with it. Like in Vietnam. A small group of civilians, including the Children, manage to flee into Central London, where they're picked off one by one in the most gory fashion that the film's makers could think up. There are lots of chases, and the Dad turns up in lots of improbably coincidental places. The shakey camera work is starting to make me want to puke. We get to see parts of London looking deserted that we didn't get to see in the first film. "Cabaret" is on in the West End, we note. The Boyf and I have a quick chat about how good it was whilst the characters continue to run around screaming.

Eventually everyone is dead apart from the two Children, who are finally rescued by an American with a helicopter. Apparently they let him into the army after he got out of Oz. And he can walk again! The Boyf hasn't seen Oz so didn't understand this reference at all. They fly to France where the Children, who are obviously carrying the virus, infect the locals. Clearly they've forgotten that they told us that mainland Europe was infected in the first film. For some reason France being infected results in a cheer from certain members of the audience. Those from Bermondsey in all likelihood.

The End.

So, is it any good? Well, what does it matter - I've just told you the entire plot so you don't have to see it.

Actually I did rather enjoy it. It's like the first film only with more killings, has more parts of London looking barren (which we like), and it doesn't turn crap 2/3rds of the way through like the first one did. And it's short, which is an oft-overlooked bonus. Please take note the makers of Spiderman 3, Pirates of the Caribbean et al.

Next up I spoil the plot of "Zodiac". Er...