In Which Your OMO Says Something He's Probably Going To Regret Later

I was really upset yesterday morning when I turned on the news to find the Cutty Sark in flames. Greenwich is one of my favourite places, and I love that damn tea clipper. The police suspect arson. Er, like, duh! A wooden ship isn't going to catch alight in the middle of the night on its own. Ok, yeah, there's the chance of an electrical fire (cause someone could easily have left a Pop Tart in the ship's toaster!). Or perhaps the ghost of the old Captain came back drunk from a pub feeling peckish and put the chip pan on before nodding off to sleep. Please! Some little shit thought it would be funny to burn it. Well, I hope they catch him and make him walk the plank, preferably alight so he knows what it feels like. Compassionate, aren't I?

In other news, that Maddy girl is still missing. Has noone ever watched a decent thriller, or ever paid attention to these things in the past? The perpetrator is always the Dad. As an example, as you may have noticed, The Boyf and I have been watching Twin Peaks recently, from start to end. So, The Boyf says to me "Who do you think killed Laura Palmer?", and I'm like "Duh, it's always the Father".

So I reckon they ought to question Maddy's Dad a bit more carefully. Think about it; the family goes for a meal and leaves the kids alone (obviously the Dad's idea, Mums don't think like that). Every 30 minutes one of them goes to check, so when it's the Dad's turn he's already arranged for someone to be outside with a car. He carries Maddy out, who won't be crying cause it's her Dad (thus noone hears anything), and puts her in the car which speeds off with her. He then goes back to the restaurant and says that all the kids are fast asleep, giving the man in the car at least a 30 minute head start before the Mum goes to check, finds Maddy is missing and raises the alarm.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think the Dad means any harm. The reward is now £2.5million. So a third party calls up to say where she is, she's found safe and well and is returned to the parents, and behind the scenes the Dad gets his cut of the reward money (I'd want 75%). I know they're doctors or something but they obviously need the money. Have you seen those t-shirts and shorts the Dad's been wearing on tv?

Now you see why I don't usually comment on anything in the news.