Things I Dislike: No.1

Now, I've already mentioned this before, but I really don't like people talking to me when I'm trying to have a pee.

I've just walked into the toilet at work - the mens, no less - to find a colleague stood at a urinal, of which there are two. I dilligently stood at the free one, only for him to pipe up "I'm going to be here a while you know. At my last medical the doctor said I had something wrong with my prostate, and it takes a while for the flow to start". I replied with a "Oh. That's nice", whilst simultaneously trying not to think about him having a rectal examination. He may have a dodgy prostate but I'm pee-shy, hence we ended up standing next to each other for rather longer than would seem comfortable, especially since I seem to have a reputation as "The Gay Who Likes To Try To Look At Your Willie In The Toilets" (well, you have to don't you?). There is another one of us at work but he's known as "The Gay Who's Terribly Good With Colours, And Doesn't He Have Lovely Hair". Anyway, finally the chanting of the lyrics to "Underwater Love" in my head does its job and I'm peeing, which appeared to help my colleague with his own dilemma.

So, if any of you stumble across me in a toilet please don't speak to me. Feel free to sing songs about the ocean, however. Oh, and please don't make me think about you with a hand up your ass unless you look like Ross Kemp. Or Orville.