Bits And Bobs

Certain small things either happened or came to my attention over Christmas/New Year that don't demand their own subjects, but are nevertheless noteworthy.

1. One of the presents I bought for The Boyf turned up after Boxing Day, even though I ordered it a week before Christmas AND paid for rapid delivery. I gave the parcel straight to him to open, with a cheery "Merry Belated Christmas", only to watch his face change to a look of puzzlement. Inside the parcel was a Spongebob Squarepants alarm clock, which was definitely not what I'd ordered. Thanks very much, Forbidden Planet.

2. The Greek God won't stop texting me, and has taken to emailing me photos of himself in compromising positions. Mainly with other guys' cocks up his ass. Apparently he can't stop thinking about me fucking him, and I'm rather flattered.

3. The Boyf appears to have turned into a bottom.

4. A friend of ours kept a guy in a box in his hallway for Christmas. His only sustenance was his own urine. The friend commented that he didn't really understand it, but that's what the guy wanted as a present. Odd.

5. I appear to look good wearing fur. Faux fur, obviously. Don't ask how I know this.

6. My favourite drink now appears to be sherry. A sure sign I'm getting old.

7. I'm starting to reminisce about dance music from the late 80's and early 90's, and keep suggesting to people that we start a club night playing old rave anthems. Another sure sign I'm getting old.

8. Twinks dancing freak me out. They're way too bendy and resemble rubber chickens having epileptic fits. And why do they wear sunglasses in nightclubs? What's that all about?

9. The trippiest thing I've ever seen was "The Polar Express" in 3D on the giant IMAX screen just before Christmas. And is it me or are the elves REALLY unnerving?

10. All tasks, no matter how trivial, become hysterically funny if you're wearing a Cyberman helmet.