Trade and Tribulations

We had the dubious honour of going to the opening of a garden centre's Christmas display, complete with mince pie and mulled wine reception. Yes, really. No film premieres, book launches or fashion shows for us. No lunches with the Beckhams, or wine and canapés with Elton and David. Oh no, we get the opening of a garden centre's grotto.

In the Midlands.

For those of you who aren't aware of England's geography - i.e. the Welsh - the Midlands are the bit in the middle. I spoil you with useful info' don't I? Basically, it's the part of England you have to go through to before you end up somewhere nice. And unfortunately The Boyf hails from that dull, grey part of the world, which means we have to visit now and again. I must admit though, that if you get off the motorway the countryside is rather nice, and I have even grown rather attached to Birmingham town centre. There's no hope for me.

We travelled back to London on Saturday, and the remainder of the weekend seems to have been spent trying to find my way out of my first Trade whilst not losing my friends. It was a bit like trying to herd cats through a labyrinth. In the dark. Drugged. Even a barman I asked had no idea how to get out. Still, we had fun. At least other people tell me I was grinning alot so I must have enjoyed it. I seem to recall stumbling, quite literally, across the main dance floor whilst looking for the toilets, having been dancing for four hours in a small backroom thinking it was the main floor. The only thing I clearly remember, apart from "Christ, they're playing Synth & Strings by Yomanda! In this day and age!", is falling flat on my face onto a knee-high podium, and then deciding it would be easiest to crawl the rest of the way. Actually, thinking about it, the reason they probably played "Synth & Strings" was because 1998 was the last time the DJ found their way out, and they've since had to play whatever records they took in with them all those years ago.

Can't wait for Trade's next birthday, which seems to be every two months or something. Never did quite work that one out.