Come And Play With My Asp

I'm having a good day at work.

One of the maintenance men is quite sexy, and he's just has to come and fiddle with my cupboard doors (not a euphemism, unfortunately). So I was able to do comedy licking motions behind him when he was bending over in front of me. Strangely satisfying, you know.

I've also found out the name of the Cute Guy. It's Luke. And I've found out where he works in my building. There's a little plain door leading from reception, which looks like it could be a cupboard but is actually a big open-plan office. And he's in it. Everything suddenly falls into place.

I knew he couldn't escape from me for long. So, all I have to do now is find a reason to go through that little door. Perhaps I could pretend to be delivering something. Or maybe their plumbing is broken. I'll just borrow a typically ridiculous opening gambit from a porn film. "Excuse me mister, I'm here to have a look at your back door, and I've got some lube to try to free it up", or something equally preposterous. And then we can have filthy bum sex over a photocopier after everyone has left for the day.

Oh joy! All my dreams come true. Well, not all of them, but it's unlikely that I'll ever have those gold things in my hair like Elizabeth Taylor in "Cleopatra", so I'll settle for the office bum sex.