Further to a previous post, last night I was chatting on line to a friend of mine - the lovely Italian I met last week in fact - when a message popped into my box. Now, one of my resolutions this year (more on those later, possibly) is to be polite and answer every message I get, rather than just deleting the weird or random ones I receive, and it's too early in the year to break that resolution so I decided to answer. As he wasn't particularly attractive (and that's being polite) I didn't want to encourage him. Here's how the conversation went...
Punter: Fuck?
OMO: No thanks, I've just eaten.
Punter: I can help you digest
OMO: Excellent! Do you have anything for heart-burn?
Punter: My cum
OMO: Oh, I've had enough of that already - that's why I have heart-burn
Punter: Don't swallow your own, have mine
OMO: It wasn't my own - there's loads of guys here.
Punter: I come round, fuck all
OMO: I think they're a bit tired - we've been at it all day - but I love your concise message.
Punter: My unlucky day. Sauna?
OMO: Well, not for me but I hope you have fun. Good luck.
Punter: Arsehole.
OMO: I'm sure I could say something funny but I think I'll just say "Goodnight".
Punter: Why don't you go and fuck yourself you arrogant, ignorant wanker.
OMO: Bit late to be eloquent, isn't it?
Punter: You c**t. I hope you get AIDS from all that fucking today.
OMO: I take it you don't want to come round and join in after all?
Punter: Yes, where do you live? I come round
OMO: Are you bi-polar?
Punter: Fuck off.
OMO: Goodnight.
I think I might be breaking that resolution in future.
Update: When I got home from work last night I logged on to get my messages. Within a couple of minutes a message poppped up. "Fuck?". Yup, he was back. I ignored it. Then a couple of minutes later The Boyf said to me "Some guy's just messaged me with "Fuck?". He's persistent, I'll give him that.
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