And They Called It...

I never wanted to be one of those people who just talked about their cat all the time. Luckily there are two things which stop this happening.

1. You may have noticed that over the last 12 months my posting has become haphazard at best, so it's unlikely that I'd talk about anything a lot, no matter how "exciting".

2. Most helpfully I don't actually have a cat.

These two have combined to mean that I never have to be one of those cat posters.

Recently I've been trying to steer The Boyf towards us becoming a thruple. When I say "steer" I mean I've been saying things like "Can we keep him? We have the room and he's quite small" or "Don't you think a third person would be useful when we need to carry something with three sides?". I think The Boyf thinks I'm just joking, but in actual fact I'm being semi-serious. I just like the idea of there being more of us. I can see a time when there will be a large group of us, but perhaps that's just me being greedy.

The main reason I know this doesn't have any legs though is because The Boyf has previous form. He had a long-term relationship before ours in which a third person joined for a couple of years in the middle (quite literally most of the time, apparently). We've chatted about it a lot - I bring it up randomly over cocktails or in polite society, so he can see the idea interests me - and although nothing particularly went wrong with his last experience, The Boyf just doesn't want to re-visit.

To be truthful we don't really have the room for a third person to be knocking about. I need a reasonable amount of my own space as it is without someone else getting in the way. But at some point, when we've moved into something larger, if the right person comes along I think I'm going to be promoting this whole idea.

Where's this going, you may well be asking, rather pertinently?

The Boyf and I have just bought a dog. Rather obviously in my case it's a surrogate 'cause I can't have what I really want. I'm not sure of The Boyf's reasons. Perhaps he just wanted a dog. Hmmm.

Obviously, the temptation now is for me to tell you how utterly adorable it is, and then post random photos of it doing mundane things. Here's the puppy sitting down staring at the carpet. And here's the puppy sitting down and staring at the wall. You get the idea.

In actual fact we don't have him yet cause he's too young, so you have another month of me occasionally blogging about sex with strangers (chance would be a fine thing!) before the puppy photos kick in.

If I were you I'd make the most of the next month. I'm certainly going to.

Online Messaging Etiquette - The Sequel

Further to a previous post, last night I was chatting on line to a friend of mine - the lovely Italian I met last week in fact - when a message popped into my box. Now, one of my resolutions this year (more on those later, possibly) is to be polite and answer every message I get, rather than just deleting the weird or random ones I receive, and it's too early in the year to break that resolution so I decided to answer. As he wasn't particularly attractive (and that's being polite) I didn't want to encourage him. Here's how the conversation went...

Punter: Fuck?

OMO: No thanks, I've just eaten.

Punter: I can help you digest

OMO: Excellent! Do you have anything for heart-burn?

Punter: My cum

OMO: Oh, I've had enough of that already - that's why I have heart-burn

Punter: Don't swallow your own, have mine

OMO: It wasn't my own - there's loads of guys here.

Punter: I come round, fuck all

OMO: I think they're a bit tired - we've been at it all day - but I love your concise message.

Punter: My unlucky day. Sauna?

OMO: Well, not for me but I hope you have fun. Good luck.

Punter: Arsehole.

OMO: I'm sure I could say something funny but I think I'll just say "Goodnight".

Punter: Why don't you go and fuck yourself you arrogant, ignorant wanker.

OMO: Bit late to be eloquent, isn't it?

Punter: You c**t. I hope you get AIDS from all that fucking today.

OMO: I take it you don't want to come round and join in after all?

Punter: Yes, where do you live? I come round

OMO: Are you bi-polar?

Punter: Fuck off.

OMO: Goodnight.

I think I might be breaking that resolution in future.

Update: When I got home from work last night I logged on to get my messages. Within a couple of minutes a message poppped up. "Fuck?". Yup, he was back. I ignored it. Then a couple of minutes later The Boyf said to me "Some guy's just messaged me with "Fuck?". He's persistent, I'll give him that.

Happy New Year! (Finally!)

Happy New Year!

What do you mean, I'm a week late? Some of us are busy you know. Yeah, yeah, so I've been sitting around a lot moping. It's that time of year.

So, shall I tell you about the Christmas/New Year shenanigans, or go for something completely unrelated and "left field"? I could do both of course, but that would involve me writing two posts in a short period of time, and we both know that's not going to happen.

Ok, I'll bullet-point some salient information.

1. On Christmas Eve The Boyf surprised me with matinee tickets for The Phantom Of The Opera, which got us very much into the swing of things. Unfortunately The Boyf does have a habit of creating ad-hoc show-tunes around rather mundane things (much like Andrew Lloyd-Webber in fact) and this hasn't helped matters.

2. We had an odd Christmas Day. The Boyf wasn't feeling very well and then managed to put his back out in the middle of the night. Then he had to cook the dinner in agony whilst I had a two hours drive to fetch my Mum, who, after eating the smallest amount of food imaginable, decided she'd like to go back home again. Thus I had another 2 hour drive before finally relaxing.

3. I got lots of great presents, including another iPod, books on marine biology and car design, and tickets to see Girls Aloud in concert, right at the front too. Nothing gay about that at all!

4. New Year's Eve was a bit of a let-down. We went to Juicy at The Astoria, and it was to be the final fling for that venue before it's pulled down to make way for Crossrail. The actual build-up to midnight was brilliant, but there was an odd anti-climax afterwards so I decided to leave everyone to it. I had a three mile walk through the centre of London, which, with all roads shut off, looked like a scene from 28 Days Later but with more zombies. And by 2:30am I was home in bed (alone).

5. I finally met an Italian internet friend of mine, who I've been speaking to on-line very regularly for two years. And he's totally gorgeous, and is a thoroughly lovely guy, just as I knew he would be. Needless to say we ended up probing each other with various parts of our anatomy, and now I'm a little sad to see him return home.

6. We've fallen out with OBM's, and it's rather obviously over the most stupid of things. Actually, The Boyf has fallen out with them and I'm being very loyal and taking his side of the argument even though I secretly agree with part of their side of the grievance. No-one knows this so keep it to yourself.

7. And now I'm back at work, and bored out of my tiny mind. Still, it stops me sitting at home in front of the tv watching endless re-runs of The Golden Girls and eating my own body weight in chocolate biscuits, which was pretty much all I did over Christmas.

8. I couldn't end on an odd, and 8's my lucky number.