I've have so much to tell you about at the moment and absolutely no time to write anything. As Nigella would say (coquettishly through her hair) "I'm SO busy!". So here's a couple of things I need to write about, more to help me remember than to give you something to look forward to:
1. "Alien Versus Predator - Requiem"
2. "Sweeney Todd - The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
3. The Drag Queen's Birthday
4. The Mr Hoist 2008 Competition
(I'm very aware that last time I wrote a list of things to write about, I didn't. Fingers crossed this time...)
Monday, January 28, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Song Of The Week - Sia
"Yeah I’ve been your crutch, your smell sight and touch
Yeah I took you home when you’ve drunk too much
But I can’t survive, with you by my side
See I’ll never get laid, while I’m running your life
No I just don’t wanna, so I’m walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don’t need drama, so I’m walking away
I’m just the girl that you lost to cocaine"
taken from "The Girl You Lost To Cocaine" by Sia, which can be found on her new album (released this week) entitled "Some People Have Real Problems". Available here, and at all good stockists, as they say.
Yeah I took you home when you’ve drunk too much
But I can’t survive, with you by my side
See I’ll never get laid, while I’m running your life
No I just don’t wanna, so I’m walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don’t need drama, so I’m walking away
I’m just the girl that you lost to cocaine"
taken from "The Girl You Lost To Cocaine" by Sia, which can be found on her new album (released this week) entitled "Some People Have Real Problems". Available here, and at all good stockists, as they say.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Online Messaging Etiquette
I've just had a message on BigMuscleBears, which isn't all that unusual, being incredibly popular like I am. Er... anyway, usually I get messages like "Aw, you're cute", or "WOOF!", or "Who's that hot guy with you in your third photo?", or "Re: Photo 4 - That wedding dress isn't working for you". I very rarely get anything sexual. I guess I've been around too long for that. I'm not fresh meat anymore, and boy don't we know it. However, today I got the following:
"Want to meet for hardcore sex"
That's all it says. No "Hello", no "I'm such and such and I think you're sexy". And no question mark at the end either. Is it indeed a question, or just a statement? And the guy's not in the UK, judging by his screen name (I've not looked at his profile cause I'm at work, although that doesn't always stop me). If I say yes is he going to immediately jump on a plane? (That almost happened once before actually. I was doing some casual online flirting with a Canadian and he said "Maybe I should come and visit sometime", to which I responded with "Well, just let me know if you ever think about coming over". The next evening he messaged me with "I've booked my flight. I arrive in two days time. Can you pick me up from the airport?". Scarily I did actually think about it for 5 minutes, cause he was really hot an all. At least, the guy in his photos was. Canadians can be really weird sometimes).
In fact, that's just reminded me of something else that happened a couple of months ago. The Boyf and I pulled a Canadian fella whilst he was in London - very sexy an' all - and we took him back to ours for the night. And the next day. Anyway, afterwards we swapped email addresses and he went on his way. A week or so later The Boyf received an email from him asking whether he could "borrow" me for the Black & Blue Party in Montreal. (He didn't even ask me. It was like The Boyf was my pimp or something). He said he'd pay for everything, but wanted to take me out over there cause everyone would think I was hot ("the French Canadians will totally be all over him" was his actually comment) and he'd like to "have" me as his boyfriend for the weekend. It was like he was asking a neighbour to borrow a pressure washer or something. It made me feel like a piece of meat. I thought at one point The Boyf was going to go for it too, but then he put his foot down with me. Shame, cause I really wanted to have a weekend away and would have totally gone for being used in exchange for a free trip to Canada. Oh, like you wouldn't! Really? Oh.
So, back to the matter at hand; how should I respond to this message? I was thinking about going back with just "Nah. You're alright, thanks", but that's seems a little rude. What about "Oh yes please, and don't forget to bring some friends"? (That's one for The Boyf). Or "Do you fancy waiting until after the sex change or would you prefer me with a penis?". Or I could just ignore him. By the way, judging from the thumbnail photo he's not hot, otherwise I'd never be asking you this question, I'd simply be inviting him to stay.
UPDATE:
When I got home last night I had a look at the guy's profile. He's not from the UK but is over on holiday, so that's one tick in his favour. The second point to note is that his thumbnail photo doesn't do him justice - judging from the other photos on his profile he's actually rather humpy. So I don't think I need help with how to respond to his message after all, but thanks for thinking about it.
"Want to meet for hardcore sex"
That's all it says. No "Hello", no "I'm such and such and I think you're sexy". And no question mark at the end either. Is it indeed a question, or just a statement? And the guy's not in the UK, judging by his screen name (I've not looked at his profile cause I'm at work, although that doesn't always stop me). If I say yes is he going to immediately jump on a plane? (That almost happened once before actually. I was doing some casual online flirting with a Canadian and he said "Maybe I should come and visit sometime", to which I responded with "Well, just let me know if you ever think about coming over". The next evening he messaged me with "I've booked my flight. I arrive in two days time. Can you pick me up from the airport?". Scarily I did actually think about it for 5 minutes, cause he was really hot an all. At least, the guy in his photos was. Canadians can be really weird sometimes).
In fact, that's just reminded me of something else that happened a couple of months ago. The Boyf and I pulled a Canadian fella whilst he was in London - very sexy an' all - and we took him back to ours for the night. And the next day. Anyway, afterwards we swapped email addresses and he went on his way. A week or so later The Boyf received an email from him asking whether he could "borrow" me for the Black & Blue Party in Montreal. (He didn't even ask me. It was like The Boyf was my pimp or something). He said he'd pay for everything, but wanted to take me out over there cause everyone would think I was hot ("the French Canadians will totally be all over him" was his actually comment) and he'd like to "have" me as his boyfriend for the weekend. It was like he was asking a neighbour to borrow a pressure washer or something. It made me feel like a piece of meat. I thought at one point The Boyf was going to go for it too, but then he put his foot down with me. Shame, cause I really wanted to have a weekend away and would have totally gone for being used in exchange for a free trip to Canada. Oh, like you wouldn't! Really? Oh.
So, back to the matter at hand; how should I respond to this message? I was thinking about going back with just "Nah. You're alright, thanks", but that's seems a little rude. What about "Oh yes please, and don't forget to bring some friends"? (That's one for The Boyf). Or "Do you fancy waiting until after the sex change or would you prefer me with a penis?". Or I could just ignore him. By the way, judging from the thumbnail photo he's not hot, otherwise I'd never be asking you this question, I'd simply be inviting him to stay.
UPDATE:
When I got home last night I had a look at the guy's profile. He's not from the UK but is over on holiday, so that's one tick in his favour. The second point to note is that his thumbnail photo doesn't do him justice - judging from the other photos on his profile he's actually rather humpy. So I don't think I need help with how to respond to his message after all, but thanks for thinking about it.
Friday, January 11, 2008
OMO At The Movies: "I Am Legend"
This year is going to be a year of going to the cinema, so we started the proceedings early with "I Am Legend".
So, what's it like? Well, it's like 28 Days Later with a bigger budget.
I won't bore you with one of my huge plot synopses, but what I will say is that a deserted New York is brilliantly realised, whilst the Infected aren't. In fact, amazingly they're some of the worst CGI I've seen since Spiderman 3, and that's saying something (ok, ok, I'll shut up about Spiderman 3 now). Why they didn't just use real people in make-up I don't know. It would have been much more believable, and would have greatly added to the tension, which disappeared as soon as we saw the cartoon "Zombie/Vampire/Infected" thingy.
Will Smith does a good enough job of commanding the screen (Will Smith does exactly what it says on the tin), although the dog steals every scene it's in. Having not read the book I can't comment on some of the plot and how it differs, however we were disappointed at the way God, as protector, was suddenly shoehorned in to the proceedings. Ah well, such is the way with American movies at the moment. And it seems as though the film-makers thought it enough to rely on the Wow! factor of a deserted New York rather than concentrating on the story. In effect it really doesn't have much of a plot - it relies purely on trading on the "Last Man On Earth" premise without delving deeper.
Yes, it's worth seeing, but don't hold out for any great social comment - it's a much flimsier film than that. I have a feeling that the book on which it's based is much deeper, and this depth has been eliminated to make the movie more of a blockbuster. That's a shame.
So, what's it like? Well, it's like 28 Days Later with a bigger budget.
I won't bore you with one of my huge plot synopses, but what I will say is that a deserted New York is brilliantly realised, whilst the Infected aren't. In fact, amazingly they're some of the worst CGI I've seen since Spiderman 3, and that's saying something (ok, ok, I'll shut up about Spiderman 3 now). Why they didn't just use real people in make-up I don't know. It would have been much more believable, and would have greatly added to the tension, which disappeared as soon as we saw the cartoon "Zombie/Vampire/Infected" thingy.
Will Smith does a good enough job of commanding the screen (Will Smith does exactly what it says on the tin), although the dog steals every scene it's in. Having not read the book I can't comment on some of the plot and how it differs, however we were disappointed at the way God, as protector, was suddenly shoehorned in to the proceedings. Ah well, such is the way with American movies at the moment. And it seems as though the film-makers thought it enough to rely on the Wow! factor of a deserted New York rather than concentrating on the story. In effect it really doesn't have much of a plot - it relies purely on trading on the "Last Man On Earth" premise without delving deeper.
Yes, it's worth seeing, but don't hold out for any great social comment - it's a much flimsier film than that. I have a feeling that the book on which it's based is much deeper, and this depth has been eliminated to make the movie more of a blockbuster. That's a shame.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
OMO's Review Of 2007: Pt.2
And onto "Best Album of the Year". And the award goes to.... drum roll please...
Da-Dum-Tish
"Ghosts" by Siobhan Donaghy.
I won't reiterate everything you've read about it (you've read about it, right?), but what I will say is that this girl could go a long way. She could be the new Kate Bush, it's just a shame that her albums don't appear to sell. Go and buy it, you won't be disappointed.
Moving on to "Most Disappointing Album of the Year". Yes, it's....
"Volta" by Bjork. A shock win!
So much was promised but so little was eventually delivered. Now, I love Bjork, and that's why this album hurts so much. I worried that roping in RnB stalwart Timbaland would turn Volta into another Missy Elliott record, but with Bjork wailing over the top. That wouldn't necessarily have been a bad thing. But in actual fact it wasn't even that interesting. It seems like Bjork forgot to write any decent melodies, and then Timbland forgot to add any decent beats. A perfect example of a whole being less than the sum of its parts.
So, "Best Pop Song of the Year" has to go to...
"About You Now" by The Sugababes.
A perfect slice of pure pop. I defy you not to have it going round in your head all day once you've heard it. Also worth a mention is "Call The Shots" by Girls Aloud, and "Umbrella" by Rihanna, if only for the fact that it was timed perfectly with last year's dismal summer. 2007 will always been the year it rained alot and "Umbrella" stayed at No.1.
"Worst Pop Song of the Year" must go to... (opens envelope)...
Oh yes, of course, a deserving winner, it's "Gimme More" by Britney Spears. Ok, she's troubled, we get that. But how much longer do we have to endure her breathy vocals over the top of a robotic beat? "It's Britney, bitch!". Oh, purlease! Still, at least she was sober enough to remember her own name. Dishonourable mention goes to whatever that comeback song was by The Spice Girls (I can't remember the name and don't want to look it up and have it showing on my Internet History). Never has a song promised so much and delivered so little. The Spice Girls, at their best, gave us some wonderful pop songs. Why on Earth did anyone think this tuneless nonsense would make a great comeback? And then trying to make us buy it by giving all the proceeds to Children In Need. Apparently they want children to go on starving or being beaten this year.
Da-Dum-Tish
"Ghosts" by Siobhan Donaghy.
I won't reiterate everything you've read about it (you've read about it, right?), but what I will say is that this girl could go a long way. She could be the new Kate Bush, it's just a shame that her albums don't appear to sell. Go and buy it, you won't be disappointed.
Moving on to "Most Disappointing Album of the Year". Yes, it's....
"Volta" by Bjork. A shock win!
So much was promised but so little was eventually delivered. Now, I love Bjork, and that's why this album hurts so much. I worried that roping in RnB stalwart Timbaland would turn Volta into another Missy Elliott record, but with Bjork wailing over the top. That wouldn't necessarily have been a bad thing. But in actual fact it wasn't even that interesting. It seems like Bjork forgot to write any decent melodies, and then Timbland forgot to add any decent beats. A perfect example of a whole being less than the sum of its parts.
So, "Best Pop Song of the Year" has to go to...
"About You Now" by The Sugababes.
A perfect slice of pure pop. I defy you not to have it going round in your head all day once you've heard it. Also worth a mention is "Call The Shots" by Girls Aloud, and "Umbrella" by Rihanna, if only for the fact that it was timed perfectly with last year's dismal summer. 2007 will always been the year it rained alot and "Umbrella" stayed at No.1.
"Worst Pop Song of the Year" must go to... (opens envelope)...
Oh yes, of course, a deserving winner, it's "Gimme More" by Britney Spears. Ok, she's troubled, we get that. But how much longer do we have to endure her breathy vocals over the top of a robotic beat? "It's Britney, bitch!". Oh, purlease! Still, at least she was sober enough to remember her own name. Dishonourable mention goes to whatever that comeback song was by The Spice Girls (I can't remember the name and don't want to look it up and have it showing on my Internet History). Never has a song promised so much and delivered so little. The Spice Girls, at their best, gave us some wonderful pop songs. Why on Earth did anyone think this tuneless nonsense would make a great comeback? And then trying to make us buy it by giving all the proceeds to Children In Need. Apparently they want children to go on starving or being beaten this year.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Christmas/New Year Round-Up
I've just read my last post before Christmas again. Blimey, I was in a bad mood that day. Grumpy old sod.
Just so you know, Christmas was a lovely affair again this (last) year, although we did do rather more travelling that I would have liked. It went something like this:
Sat 22nd: London to Midlands to see The Boyf's family.
Sun 23rd: Midlands to Kent to see my Mum (in thick fog)
Sun 23rd (evening): Kent to London.
Mon 24th: Borough Market to get the fresh veg and final tasty morsels
Tues 25th/Wednesday 26th: At home with Our Best Mates relaxing. Lovely
Thurs 27th: London to Gloucestershire to visit The Drag Queen at her family residence.
Fri 28th: Gloucestershire to Midlands to attend The Boyf's ex's post-Christmas Party
Sat 29th: Midlands to London
Sun 30th: Flaked out all day at home, and then out to the Horsemeat Disco
Mon 31st: Up late and then to the RVT for NYE, which was absolutely brilliant.
Tues 1st: A short sleep and then to Fire and then the RVT again.
Wed 2nd: Dead to the world
Thurs 3rd: Back to work. Urgh!
Oh, and guess what? The Boyf found his car keys this week. They were at home all the time, the spaz!
So, it's the post Christmas blues now. They hit on New Years Day and haven't left me yet. There are alot of things going on in my head that I can't seem to shake off. This year's going to be interesting, I'm sure.
Looking back at last years resolutions I can see that... hang on... yes, I failed dismally. Actually, that's not quite true. The serious resolutions I did do something about. I had a couple of foreign holidays, and I started to learn to swim. My gym regime was sporadic at best however, and I never did start a "proper" blog. Likewise I didn't sleep with my Boss or Bill Goldberg, but both did seem rather unlikely. The one that I really wanted to do was learn a language, and I had the offer from a rather lovely Spaniard I know. But I have the feeling that we'd have ended up doing something altogether different (and horizontal), and when I told The Boyf that I'd been offered language lessons (and by whom) he did one of those "Oh yeah! I'm sure you mouth will be too busy to do any talking" faces so I thought it a bad idea all round. Shame.
So, this year I'm only going to make a few little resolutions, which I will hopefully keep. Let's see...
1. Lose weight. Again. And that means going to the gym, like, properly! I gain and lose enough weight each year to build another complete person, who could follow me around and do my bidding. But they'd be made out of fat and wouldn't look very attractive, and I already have one of those and it's called "The Boyf". (Kidding)
2. Go somewhere on holiday that I've not been to yet. Last year was France and San Francisco. This year we already have Scotland pencilled in, but I need a proper foreign holiday to somewhere different. We're talking about Fort Lauderdale or Chicago. I just don't think I'm pretty enough for Ft Lauderdale somehow.
3. Write more blog entries. I was terribly lazy with it last year and didn't tell you about all sorts of fun stuff. For instance, I got to feed a lion in London Zoo after we were taken "back stage" by a friend of ours. I have to say it was one of the best experiences I've ever had, being so close to a full grown adult male. He was so powerful, and so beautiful. Very humbling. It's made me want to pursue my life-long ambition to swim with sharks, but I doubt that'll happen this year. Getting back to the point, I'm going to put a bit more effort in with this ol' blog. Probably.
4. Do something for charity. It's all very well donating money but this year I want to get off my arse and do something positive. Not sure who for yet (the Terrance Higgins Trust probably), or what I'll do, but it's definitely on the cards.
5. Get another tattoo. I've been quietly saying I'm going to have another tattoo done for about 3 years now, but I think the time is now. Not sure whether to have it done soon, or whether to wait until the summer's over, but I know what I'm going to have done. I just need to find the right person to realise what I have in my head.
Just so you know, Christmas was a lovely affair again this (last) year, although we did do rather more travelling that I would have liked. It went something like this:
Sat 22nd: London to Midlands to see The Boyf's family.
Sun 23rd: Midlands to Kent to see my Mum (in thick fog)
Sun 23rd (evening): Kent to London.
Mon 24th: Borough Market to get the fresh veg and final tasty morsels
Tues 25th/Wednesday 26th: At home with Our Best Mates relaxing. Lovely
Thurs 27th: London to Gloucestershire to visit The Drag Queen at her family residence.
Fri 28th: Gloucestershire to Midlands to attend The Boyf's ex's post-Christmas Party
Sat 29th: Midlands to London
Sun 30th: Flaked out all day at home, and then out to the Horsemeat Disco
Mon 31st: Up late and then to the RVT for NYE, which was absolutely brilliant.
Tues 1st: A short sleep and then to Fire and then the RVT again.
Wed 2nd: Dead to the world
Thurs 3rd: Back to work. Urgh!
Oh, and guess what? The Boyf found his car keys this week. They were at home all the time, the spaz!
So, it's the post Christmas blues now. They hit on New Years Day and haven't left me yet. There are alot of things going on in my head that I can't seem to shake off. This year's going to be interesting, I'm sure.
Looking back at last years resolutions I can see that... hang on... yes, I failed dismally. Actually, that's not quite true. The serious resolutions I did do something about. I had a couple of foreign holidays, and I started to learn to swim. My gym regime was sporadic at best however, and I never did start a "proper" blog. Likewise I didn't sleep with my Boss or Bill Goldberg, but both did seem rather unlikely. The one that I really wanted to do was learn a language, and I had the offer from a rather lovely Spaniard I know. But I have the feeling that we'd have ended up doing something altogether different (and horizontal), and when I told The Boyf that I'd been offered language lessons (and by whom) he did one of those "Oh yeah! I'm sure you mouth will be too busy to do any talking" faces so I thought it a bad idea all round. Shame.
So, this year I'm only going to make a few little resolutions, which I will hopefully keep. Let's see...
1. Lose weight. Again. And that means going to the gym, like, properly! I gain and lose enough weight each year to build another complete person, who could follow me around and do my bidding. But they'd be made out of fat and wouldn't look very attractive, and I already have one of those and it's called "The Boyf". (Kidding)
2. Go somewhere on holiday that I've not been to yet. Last year was France and San Francisco. This year we already have Scotland pencilled in, but I need a proper foreign holiday to somewhere different. We're talking about Fort Lauderdale or Chicago. I just don't think I'm pretty enough for Ft Lauderdale somehow.
3. Write more blog entries. I was terribly lazy with it last year and didn't tell you about all sorts of fun stuff. For instance, I got to feed a lion in London Zoo after we were taken "back stage" by a friend of ours. I have to say it was one of the best experiences I've ever had, being so close to a full grown adult male. He was so powerful, and so beautiful. Very humbling. It's made me want to pursue my life-long ambition to swim with sharks, but I doubt that'll happen this year. Getting back to the point, I'm going to put a bit more effort in with this ol' blog. Probably.
4. Do something for charity. It's all very well donating money but this year I want to get off my arse and do something positive. Not sure who for yet (the Terrance Higgins Trust probably), or what I'll do, but it's definitely on the cards.
5. Get another tattoo. I've been quietly saying I'm going to have another tattoo done for about 3 years now, but I think the time is now. Not sure whether to have it done soon, or whether to wait until the summer's over, but I know what I'm going to have done. I just need to find the right person to realise what I have in my head.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
OMO's Review Of 2007: Pt.1
I have about 5 posts on the go at the moment, none of which I seem able to finish, so I thought I'd knock out something in parts so you can see I'm actually writing something, and not just being damn lazy.
And on with my first award - it's the "Worst Movie of the Year" and it goes to...
Spiderman 3.
In a year of poor movies this still wins hands down. No movie last year made me cringe quite so much as this one. It manages to absolutely ruin a perfectly good franchise with plot twists that negate huge parts of the first two films, it's too long and has too much going on, there are too many villains without the time to explore their motivations, and above all the CGI is absolutely woeful. I could have done better with some crayons. Blindfolded. On LSD. I just wish I'd walked out instead of wasting my time with it.
Now, let's move on to "Best Movie of the Year", which goes to...
er, none of them. I didn't see one film which I would highly recommend, which is probably because The Boyf and I only go to the cinema to watch popcorn fodder, rather than intelligent films (which we'd rather watch at home). If you want a good film rent "Perfume" on DVD, that's what I say.
In the next thrilling instalment we find out what my favourite music was in 2007. Coming soon...
And on with my first award - it's the "Worst Movie of the Year" and it goes to...
Spiderman 3.
In a year of poor movies this still wins hands down. No movie last year made me cringe quite so much as this one. It manages to absolutely ruin a perfectly good franchise with plot twists that negate huge parts of the first two films, it's too long and has too much going on, there are too many villains without the time to explore their motivations, and above all the CGI is absolutely woeful. I could have done better with some crayons. Blindfolded. On LSD. I just wish I'd walked out instead of wasting my time with it.
Now, let's move on to "Best Movie of the Year", which goes to...
er, none of them. I didn't see one film which I would highly recommend, which is probably because The Boyf and I only go to the cinema to watch popcorn fodder, rather than intelligent films (which we'd rather watch at home). If you want a good film rent "Perfume" on DVD, that's what I say.
In the next thrilling instalment we find out what my favourite music was in 2007. Coming soon...
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