Over the past months a few things have happened in my life which I've not been able to tell anyone about, and the sad thing is that I've realised that I don't really have a friend who I trust implicitly.
Just writing that makes me feel really sad.
You see, before I moved into London all of my friends were straight, and most were married with kids. As good as they were at being friends they just didn't get the whole gay thing. Sure, I could talk to them about relationships and they'd give good advice from their experiences, and sometimes it was interesting hearing things from a different viewpoint, but it's not the same as being able to talk to another guy who's really experienced the same things.
Then I moved into London and started making my own friends, but met noone who I felt really close to. It's not that I didn't like anyone - quite the contrary, there are quite a few people who I think are genuinely good guys. I have an innate feeling for people when I meet them, and know almost automatically whether I'll be able to trust them, and rarely am I proved wrong. The fact that I hadn't met anyone who I completely opened up to didn't bother me. There are different levels of friendship, and just because you wouldn't tell someone your innermost secrets doesn't mean that you can't be good friends and enjoy their company.
And then I met The Boyf and his small coterie of loyal friends and found that I rather liked them all, and in particular one of them is someone I trust implicitly. But at the end of the day this person is The Boyf's friend, first and foremost, and their loyalty is therefore to him, which is correct and as it should be. So although I can talk to them about most things I find I still don't have anyone to talk to with regards to my actual relationship. If nothing else I wouldn't want to put our friend in an awkward situation where their loyalties were tested.
So it comes to pass that I need someone to talk to, and don’t know who to turn to. I have so many feelings which I'm desperately trying to bottle up, but it's not easy. The only way I can do it is by shutting down on those around me - if I can't cry then I won't laugh either - so I'm in this odd limbo state where I appear to be entire void of emotion, when in fact I'm screaming inside. And the longer it goes on the worse it gets, rather obviously.
I'm not sure why I'm telling you this. I guess it's because I never realised I needed anyone until now, and I find it rather interesting how alone I suddenly feel.
(I'm very aware that I'm not really telling you everything. I'm still thinking about that)
Friday, July 24, 2009
Cosmic Love
A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness
So darkness I became
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness
So darkness I became
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
OMO At The Movies: "Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen"
I was quite looking forward to this years blockbusters. I decided early on that all of them would be crap, by varying degrees, and that the worst would be Transformers.
When the first Transformers movie came out I really wasn't looking forward to it. I had a friend who was all over it like a rash, I but was all like, meh. But when I saw it I actually rather enjoyed it. It seemed honest, and the action sequences and CGI were pretty good.
At the start of the year I decided that the sequel would be rubbish. More of the same. A lot more, and that would be it. But then the trailers appeared and looked pretty good. It all looked a bit Cloverfield.
And then I went to see it, and my early assumptions were proved correct. This WILL be the worst film of the year, I'm sure of it. Michael Bay obviously gave a checklist to the fanboys of the first film, asking what they did and didn't like, and then simply produced a film with more of what people wanted, regardless of how this affected any narrative.
More Megan Fox in shorts, pouting? Check.
Lots more Transformers, even if their reason for being is unclear? Check.
Bigger explosion (lots more shit getting blown up)? Check.
More of the parents, they were funny dude? Check.
That FBI bloke, but make sure he's even more of a comedy character? Check.
Slo-Mo fight sequences, with the sun reflecting off the Autobots? Check.
Oh, dump the plot, it just gets in the way. Check.
We loved that Terminator that could turn into different people - can we have some of that? That was a different film, but ok, we'll see what we can do.
Did we say more explosions? Yes, but we'll add some more in just in case.
Michael Bay inevitable gives us set-piece after set-piece with minor lulls inbetween. I've never seen so many action sequences in one movie. The film literally goes EXPLOSION - talking - EXPLOSION - talking - EXPLOSION - EXPLOSION - talking - EXPLOSION ad infinitum. No wonder it ended up a bum-worrying two and a half hours long - there are enough action sequences for three God-awful films, let alone one. Someone really needed to tell Michael Bay to step away from the camera and edit this shit down to a sensible length. Either that or not even bother with the lulls. Just cut them out - give the audience a few 5 minute breaks throughout. You know, have an action sequence and then a blank screen with "You now have 5 minutes to pop to the loo or get more chocolate". I mean, it's not like the lulls further the plot.
Speaking of which, we actually get to about two thirds of the way through when some sort of "Plot Alert" alarm obviously went off in Michael Bay's office reminding him to shoe-horn something in. Up until that point there's seriously nothing apart from explosions and people running and shouting, and some comedy with the parents. Oh, and Megan Fox auto-pouting as soon as a camera sweeps past her. Then suddenly an old robot appears, comically with a walking stick, to literally tell us the entire plot of the film in a two minute burst, and then miraculously teleport the cast to the correct spot on the planet for the climax. Handy.
Urgh! Can you tell I didn't enjoy it?
It would have been ok, with some serious editing, and about, oh, six less action sequences. Oh, and a decent script. I know we didn't go along for Shakespeare but jeez, this is embarrassing.
Oh, I forgot to tell you about the good bits.
...
Oh, ok, the effects are pretty good.
So, in summation; I can't stress enough how you're not to go and watch this movie. Seriously, go and see anything other than this. As one review put it "It manages the incredible feat of being the fastest, loudest movie ever but simultaneously ridiculously dull. Like watching paint dry whilst being hit round the head with a frying pan".
The Boyf and I, as is often the way with married couples, managed to sum it up using the same word at the same time. The word was "nadir". It even makes "Terminator: Stagnation" look good. I need say no more than that.
UPDATE: This movie has had the second highest 5 day opening in history, behind "The Dark Knight". I'm ashamed to have contributed to it's success.
When the first Transformers movie came out I really wasn't looking forward to it. I had a friend who was all over it like a rash, I but was all like, meh. But when I saw it I actually rather enjoyed it. It seemed honest, and the action sequences and CGI were pretty good.
At the start of the year I decided that the sequel would be rubbish. More of the same. A lot more, and that would be it. But then the trailers appeared and looked pretty good. It all looked a bit Cloverfield.
And then I went to see it, and my early assumptions were proved correct. This WILL be the worst film of the year, I'm sure of it. Michael Bay obviously gave a checklist to the fanboys of the first film, asking what they did and didn't like, and then simply produced a film with more of what people wanted, regardless of how this affected any narrative.
More Megan Fox in shorts, pouting? Check.
Lots more Transformers, even if their reason for being is unclear? Check.
Bigger explosion (lots more shit getting blown up)? Check.
More of the parents, they were funny dude? Check.
That FBI bloke, but make sure he's even more of a comedy character? Check.
Slo-Mo fight sequences, with the sun reflecting off the Autobots? Check.
Oh, dump the plot, it just gets in the way. Check.
We loved that Terminator that could turn into different people - can we have some of that? That was a different film, but ok, we'll see what we can do.
Did we say more explosions? Yes, but we'll add some more in just in case.
Michael Bay inevitable gives us set-piece after set-piece with minor lulls inbetween. I've never seen so many action sequences in one movie. The film literally goes EXPLOSION - talking - EXPLOSION - talking - EXPLOSION - EXPLOSION - talking - EXPLOSION ad infinitum. No wonder it ended up a bum-worrying two and a half hours long - there are enough action sequences for three God-awful films, let alone one. Someone really needed to tell Michael Bay to step away from the camera and edit this shit down to a sensible length. Either that or not even bother with the lulls. Just cut them out - give the audience a few 5 minute breaks throughout. You know, have an action sequence and then a blank screen with "You now have 5 minutes to pop to the loo or get more chocolate". I mean, it's not like the lulls further the plot.
Speaking of which, we actually get to about two thirds of the way through when some sort of "Plot Alert" alarm obviously went off in Michael Bay's office reminding him to shoe-horn something in. Up until that point there's seriously nothing apart from explosions and people running and shouting, and some comedy with the parents. Oh, and Megan Fox auto-pouting as soon as a camera sweeps past her. Then suddenly an old robot appears, comically with a walking stick, to literally tell us the entire plot of the film in a two minute burst, and then miraculously teleport the cast to the correct spot on the planet for the climax. Handy.
Urgh! Can you tell I didn't enjoy it?
It would have been ok, with some serious editing, and about, oh, six less action sequences. Oh, and a decent script. I know we didn't go along for Shakespeare but jeez, this is embarrassing.
Oh, I forgot to tell you about the good bits.
...
Oh, ok, the effects are pretty good.
So, in summation; I can't stress enough how you're not to go and watch this movie. Seriously, go and see anything other than this. As one review put it "It manages the incredible feat of being the fastest, loudest movie ever but simultaneously ridiculously dull. Like watching paint dry whilst being hit round the head with a frying pan".
The Boyf and I, as is often the way with married couples, managed to sum it up using the same word at the same time. The word was "nadir". It even makes "Terminator: Stagnation" look good. I need say no more than that.
UPDATE: This movie has had the second highest 5 day opening in history, behind "The Dark Knight". I'm ashamed to have contributed to it's success.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
