Wet Again

I'm standing at a bar with a pint. Cider, it's the only thing I drink. Well, not the only thing, of course, but it's my preferred "pint". Everyone I know seems to tell me that they didn't like lager/beer at all when they first tried it, but got used to it because everyone drank it. I just stuck with cider, which I knew I liked after I got a little tipsy on it as an 8 year old when my parents let me have some local scrumpy during a visit to Somerset in the 70's.

I'd just commented that I was really rather pleased that two guys we'd met last time didn't happen to be present. I still wasn't best pleased with one of them after he decided to piss all over me whilst standing at the bar, without any warning at all. We'd just been chatting away and suddenly I'd felt a wet warmth, so I looked down and realised that as he'd been chatting he'd got his cock out and was happily pissing away. I'd had to spend the rest of the evening in cold, damp jeans, reeking of urine. Perhaps it's a local custom.

So, I'd just commented that this guy and his boyfriend weren't around when The Boyf told me I'd spoken too soon. Shit! They wander over to say Hi. Now, I'd like to add that the boyfriend of Pisser - we'll call him Cigar I think - is really rather lovely. Not what you'd call good-looking, but very manly and attractive, and although he looks quite aggressive is actually very unassuming and pleasant. In contrast to Pisser, who never talks about anything other than who he's shagged recently, and how much he'd like to piss up my arse. Charmed, I'm sure.

Fortunately Pisser is paying a great deal of attention to two other guys, both dressed in leather.

Cigar: See that guy my boyfriend is talking to now?

OMO: Yeah...?

Cigar: Biggest cock in Birmingham

The Boyf: Yours isn't exactly small is it?

The Boyf catches my eye and motions downwards with his head. Cigar has his cock out (he's wearing chaps and a jock) and it's in The Boyf's hand. It's hard, and very large. As usual I'd been oblivious to the goings-on. Cigar smiles at me. I cop a feel, as you do.

Cigar then looks over at the guy with the apparently enormous cock, who see that Cigar has his own cock out and wanders over. Rather obviously the guy flops his cock out of his jock. Yes, it's possibly the largest cock I've ever seen in real life. At about 10 inches long I've seen longer, but it's as thick as a Coke can too, and comes accompanied with an enormous pair of balls. It all looks a little incongruous, like the whole lot fell off a small horse and has been surgically grafted on. My hoop involuntarily tightens in fear.

Horsey suddenly produces a condom - a HUGE condom, like a rubber support-stocking - and whips it onto his cock, then slathers in it lube. I notice The Boyf back up against the bar slightly. I do the same, and we shoot a look of fear at each other. And then, without so much as a By Your Leave, Cigar bends over, burying his face in my chest, and Horsey proceeds to force his cock up Cigar's arse. The Boyf and I look at each other in surprise, and Cigar lets out a huge moan as Horsey impales him, right up to the balls. He then proceeds to fuck him incredibly hard as Cigar braces himself against me.

I'm forced up against the bar, clinging to my pint and trying not to spill it everywhere, and to the side of me people are ordering drinks as if nothing is happening. I look over at The Boyf, who's mouth is open in amazement and awe as he leans round to get a better view of the action, like a small inquisitive child. My back's starting to hurt, being slammed back against the bar as I take the force of the pounding. Cigar manages to look up at me; he's a bit slack-jawed and his eyes are slightly crossed. I smile at him, partly out of reassurance and partly just because I'm polite and I can't quite work out the etiquette in such a situation.

Finally, Cigar lets out a roar, which I assume means he's cum, and Horsey pulls out of him. The person next to me orders two pints of bitter and some crisps. I help Cigar to stand up straight and he's looking rather weary, but in a contented kind of way.

Cigar: Christ, that's like being fucked by a rampant pony. It's ripped me apart.

Horsey: Anyone else want a go?

The Boyf (looking nervous): Er.... ahem.... I.... er...

OMO: Christ, look at the time already. Must be off I think. Things to do tomorrow, and all that.

On the way out The Boyf motions to my jeans.

The Boyf: So, that's a 100% record of walking out of that bar with stained jeans then.

I look down to see a huge load of spunk clinging to me...