The Sling-Thing Occurs

I guess I should tell you about my weekend. Er... well, you may recall that The Boyf and I were supposed to be visiting the Policeman Who Won't Stop Cumming and his boyfriend a couple of weeks ago, but it didn't happen. Well, last Friday it did happen.

Friday evening we drove out to their house, which turned out to be a beautiful cottage in the middle of the countryside. We sat around and chatted for a bit, and I hid behind a tall glass of vodka hoping that they'd forget I was there so I could just stay where I was and watch a DVD of Madonna's last tour whilst they "went upstairs". But no, the Policeman's boyfriend, who we'll call simply R, suddenly said to me "Come upstairs with me for a minute will you? I want to put on something different to wear and you can help me choose". My mind raced. I'd not played "dressing up" since primary school. Was I going upstairs to find a box full of bonnets and puff-sleeved party dresses, high-heeled shoes that were too big and feather boas?

He led me upstairs. The dressing-up box turned out to be a wardrobe full of leather gear. Ah, of course, the other sort of drag. R stipped and put on some chaps, then handed some to me. Unbelievably I'd never worn them before, probably 'cause no-one needs to see my ass hanging out the back of my trousers, but I must admit that they did feel rather nice.

As usual I won't go into the gory details other than to say that I finally got a go in a sling - in fact, as I'd not been in one before the general concensus was to keep me in it. I didn't complain. All four of us finally collapsed in a heap in front of their log fire at 3am, totally spent.

The Boyf and I stayed in their guest bedroom and were awoken at 9am by The Policeman telling us that breakfast was ready. Result! So we sat around eating a full English breakfast and looked at the photos from the night before, which was a tad embarrassing (yes, someone had decided to take photos throughout). Now I know what I look like having sex and it's not pretty. Note to self - never make a porn film.

Then suddenly R said to me: "Good job the nearest neighbour is 1/4 of a mile away".

OMO: "Why?"

The Boyf: "Yeah, he's a bit noisy isn't he?"

OMO: *blink*

R: "I'd say. Very vocal. We liked that"

OMO: *blink blink*

We parted on very good terms and agreed to meet up again soon.

Later that day The Boyf had a call from a friend of his. A friend who, I should add, works with R. There was much giggling on the phone, like two schoolgirls who fancy the same guy on the football team, and then something The Boyf said lept out at me - "Oh, he told you that did he?..... Yes, he does get very vocal..... I know, I like that too".

Great, now I have a reputation for being a screamer.