OMO At The Movies: "WALL-E"

Have you noticed how often I'm going to the pictures (aw! Quaint) these days? Frankly, it's all I'm doing. No, I'm not going to moan again about my social life being dull. But it IS dammit! Anyway, after a slightly false start where I drove us to the wrong Multiplex (!) I finally got around to seeing WALL-E last night, a film I'd been looking forward to since I read the premise last summer.

So, was it any good? Indupitubly, yes. I loved every moment, and rather obviously ended up crying. (I looked around at everyone else, and yes, I was the only one in tears. Again). I'm having a bad few weeks, ok.

I won't bore you with the story, but the whole thing is a rather touching love story set against the back-drop of an abandoned Earth, after humans have managed to dump so much waste it has become uninhabitable. The female of the middle-aged couple sitting behind us was heard to comment (about 15 minutes in): "I think there's a message in here somewhere". Sheesh, do you think Lady?

I found the first 30 minutes incredibly touching, as we're introduced to our unspeaking titular hero and his world purely by the visuals and his actions. Being an overly romantic, slightly melodramatic gay, I felt his loneliness keenly within my soul. Jeez. I saw The Boyf look at me, "You're going to cry in a minute aren't you?". Apparently I'm all too obvious.

The second part of the film takes on a more obvious action slant, a la Toy Story, to keep the kids hooked, and it never really reaches the intelligent and moving heights of the first part. As a whole the film's very well paced, and short, the result being that it all seems to be over a bit too quickly.

I found it interesting that the humans are less detailed visually and have less emotional depth than any of the robots, and WALL-E in particular is beautifully rendered. He passes off as more life-like than almost anything in Spiderman 3. Yeah, yeah, here I go about Spidey3 again. The animation is really beautiful, and is perfectly set off with the score, which consists of a melding of new music and songs from "Hello Dolly!".

Criticisms? Yeah, I didn't want it to end. Apart from that the whole "Man is killing Earth" thing is shoved in our face at every available opportunity, but then I mustn't forget this is a kids film first and foremost.

On the whole it reminded me of why as a child one of the most moving films I remember is "Silent Running", which is the adult version of WALL-E when all is said and done. I'm just amazed that there's been no mention of a remake, in this day and age.

In two weeks I really think I've seen the best two films of this year, and I'd be very surprised if anything else comes close to this and "The Dark Knight".

Brighton Pride

So, how are you today?

Good, good.

Yes, well that's all very well but you've neglected to ask me about Brighton Pride.

So, without further ado, I'll fill you in on the weekend's shenanigans, few and far between though they were.

The Boyf and I got up early on Saturday to catch an early train, but like all good gays we couldn't make up our minds what we wanted to wear, and thus left about an hour later than we wanted to and ended up missing the parade. It was just as well because it appeared that it had rained. We made our way straight to Preston Park, and it was fortunate that we'd had plenty of hot weather as it had stopped the place turning into a mud bath, although that might have been fun in retrospect.

The first thing that crossed our minds as we walked to the park was "What an ugly crowd", a sentiment echoed later on (more about that in a bit). Yes, not one pretty person in sight. I observed that, with the roads being closed off and people wandering up the middle of the streets, it all looked a bit post-apocalyptic. In fact, the way most people were dressed and were shambling about it all looked rather too "Dawn Of The Dead" for my liking. I did think about a little light looting, as it didn't look like anyone would notice, but thought better of it.

The park was great, as usual. Brighton really knows how to do Pride, and it makes you realise that London sorely misses having an event in a park at the end, although Trafalgar Square and Soho do admirable jobs. Rather obviously we hung out in the bear tent, which is always located right at the entrance next to a large bank of toilets and a decent array of burger vans. That way the bears don't have to move very much and can just eat, drink and lollop about.

On one of our little excursions around the park I was stopped by an "Oi!" from a group of older gentlemen sitting on a pink blanket (complete with picnic) who each resembled, in part, Quentin Crisp, like each couldn't manage the complete look so had divided it up between them to make things easier. A floppy hat here, a chiffon neck-scarf there. Actually, they were all a bit Hinge & Bracket without the wigs, and most came complete with half-rimmed glasses dangling from chains about their necks.

Quentin 1: "I'm terribly sorry about the "Oi". How very rude of me".

He reached up and took my right hand in both of his.

Quentin 1: "Now then deary - would you be so kind as to tell me where the fat people hang out?"

I raised one eyebrow. Then the other for emphasis.

Quentin: "Oh, good Lord, I didn't mean it like that, it's just that our friend has just sent us a text thingy to say he's 'hanging out with the fatties' and we don't know where he means. You look like you might know where that is. Oh, this isn't coming out very well. Damn it, and I think you're very sexy. You're very much my type you know dear."

He pats my hand.

OMO: "Thank you, that's very kind. I think."

Quentin 2: "Well, you're a bit of a bear and when our friend said "fatties" we figured that's what he meant."

Quentin 1: "Yes, quite. So, do you have any ideas? I mean, look as us sweetness, we need a bit of help finding anything"

OMO: "Well, the bear tent is that large one down the front that smells of cooking fat. You can't miss it, trust me"

Quentin 1: "Oh good, thank you deary. You are kind to some old gays. So, will you be there?"

OMO: "I should think so, yes"

Quentin 1: "Wonderful! You are my type you know. Like a hairy little bouncy castle. Come along girls, let's go and see the fatties"

Elsewhere I managed not to be insulted by anyone, and in fact The Boyf and I were crowned "Most Beautiful People At Pride" by a mildly drunk women from London in a rather lovely dress, who accosted us later in the evening to ask why everyone was so ugly in Brighton. We agreed that they were, but didn't know why. So we had a long chat about what it meant to be a bear - we get that from straight women a lot - and then she wandered off to catch a train home and "get away from all the ugliness". Bless.

We'd ended up spending most of the day with TPWWSC and R, and also with the sexy Iraqi and his partner, and as usual I ended up snogging TPWWSC and getting myself all worked up. I do wish that boy wasn't so damn sexy. Or married. Oops, probably shouldn’t say that. So, swiftly moving on…

In general we had a wonderful day, which wasn't even spoilt by the ridiculous queue to get on the train at the end of the night. Roll on next year.

OMO's Gig Review: "KylieX2008"

So, on Tuesday night a little group of us gays (6 in all) went to see Miss Minogue the Elder at the O2, each of us obviously giving a reason for going which was quickly undermined by the fact that we all knew all of the words to all of the songs.

Before I give you a completely useless review I would just like to add that only in Gayland could 50% of our little group be made up of porn stars. It'd had been arranged by a friend of ours and we hadn't thought (oddly) to ask who was going, so were rather pleasantly surprised to find ourselves squeezed between some rather lovely, sexy men. Who were all, to a man, completely marvellous company.

Anyway, on with the show; Kylie was of course utterly fabulous. The set comprised most of her current album (surprise!), with a good sprinkling of older hits.

As usual with Kylie it's all about the show, and the resulting set pieces and costume changes were pretty wonderful. The stage itself was incredible - similar to George Michael's stage where the back screen scrolled across the stage itself - Kylie's entire stage was lit from below and matched the patterns of the movable back screens. The whole thing was an array of lights, and was used very very well.

The downside to all the costume changes are the fact that the show never really got into its stride. We'd have three or four songs and then everything would stop for a bit, so we never really got into a momentum until very close to the end. In fact, I'd say it was only the encore which really got everyone up on their feet. And I really don't care for singers who leave the stage part way through a song to change whilst leaving backing singers to finish it off.

Trying to promote the album meant that some of the song choices didn't really work ("Speakerphone" is not a good way to start a show, and was thus followed with "Can't Get You Out Of My Head"). The weaker songs were certainly current album tracks (hello "Nu-Di-Ty" and "Heart Beat Rock"), although "In My Arms" (which we rather obviously sung as "How does it feel in my arse?") stood up surprisingly well. Wasn't too sure about the cover of "Copa Cabana" either, but it was certainly interesting.

Highlights for me were "Shocked", "The One", "Flower" (a new song), "Kids" (always good for a sing-a-long), and "Slow", although the winner on the night had to be "Your Disco Needs You" (but perhaps that was just because we danced ourselves silly)

All in all a great show, topped off by the 6 of us ending up in a karaoke bar afterwards. Ah, porn stars and karaoke, what a surreal combination.